Dizzybusy Kids
Are We Pushing Them Too Hard?
Our lives are so overwhelmingly busy that we feel out of balance. It’s impossible to read about, think about, or respond to all that comes our way each and every day. So we go faster and faster, take on more and more and feel like we are spinning out of control. I call it dizzybusy. The reality is: No matter how hard we try, we can’t work our way out of this problem and we can’t organize our way out of this problem. The worst part of the dizzybusy lifestyle is that it leaves little time to connect as a family and create the loving, safe haven we all need at home.
Dizzybusy is an unhealthy habit because it creates enormous stress in our lives. Since the busy-ness also distracts us from doing the things that really matter, we feel guilty on top of stressed-out. 90% of the population claims they feel overwhelmed by the lack of time today. Medical researchers estimate that close to 90% of illness and disease is stress-related. The leading six causes of death in the U.S., which include heart disease, cancer, accidents and suicide, are all linked to stress. We don’t feel good and it’s not good for us.
Are We Pushing Them Too Hard?
Our lives are so overwhelmingly busy that we feel out of balance. It’s impossible to read about, think about, or respond to all that comes our way each and every day. So we go faster and faster, take on more and more and feel like we are spinning out of control. I call it dizzybusy. The reality is: No matter how hard we try, we can’t work our way out of this problem and we can’t organize our way out of this problem. The worst part of the dizzybusy lifestyle is that it leaves little time to connect as a family and create the loving, safe haven we all need at home.
Dizzybusy is an unhealthy habit because it creates enormous stress in our lives. Since the busy-ness also distracts us from doing the things that really matter, we feel guilty on top of stressed-out. 90% of the population claims they feel overwhelmed by the lack of time today. Medical researchers estimate that close to 90% of illness and disease is stress-related. The leading six causes of death in the U.S., which include heart disease, cancer, accidents and suicide, are all linked to stress. We don’t feel good and it’s not good for us.
The sad part is that our kids are experiencing this disconnect, too. According to recent studies, today’s children are feeling stressed, isolated and pessimistic about life, which is the last thing we want for our children. It makes me wonder: if the dizzybusy lifestyle is leading adults to alcohol and drugs to escape and feel better, what is it doing to our kids?
Is it possible that by modeling the dizzybusy lifestyle and pushing our kids into the same rat race we’re in, we may be causing the very things we try to prevent: alcohol and drug abuse, casual sex, depression and suicide? Is it the violent video games and R-rated movies that tempt our children to go in the wrong direction, or is it the pressure to be what society says they should be that pushes them there?
Are we, as parents, so focused on their success that we are actually making things worse?
Some Shocking Statistics
49% of college students binge drink and/or abuse prescription and illegal drugs
23% meet the medical criteria for substance abuse and dependence
use of cocaine, heroin and other illegal drugs is up 52%
the number of students seen for depression has doubled
The number of suicidal students seeking help has tripled
Since our culture puts so much emphasis on work and accomplishments, we get caught up in pushing our kids to perform. There is a fine line between encouraging and pushing, and it’s not always easy for us to see where that line is because our egos are wrapped up in the middle of it. Society has convinced us that more sports, music lessons and chess clubs are going to prepare our kids for a better life. Some of that is great, but all the extra-curricular activities in the world will not make up for the lost opportunity we have to teach our children valuable life lessons and build strong family ties. Encourage your children to be selective. One or two activities are all a child needs and probably all he/she can handle. Kids need down time, when nothing is planned, when it’s quiet enough for imaginations to kick in and spontaneous connections to occur. And so do we.
We can’t forget that the way we push ourselves to be “successful” is setting a powerful negative example all by itself. So, what can we do to compensate for our dizzybusy lifestyles? How can we find, and model for our children, that balance we all desperately need? How do we stay focused on what’s important?
The most valuable thing we can do right now is take time out from our own busy schedules and make time for family. We need to show our children that it’s ok to stop the hustle and bustle and enjoy life together. Set aside a couple of hours on Friday for Family Fun Night, or Sunday afternoon for Sunday Funday. No phones, no computers, no TV, no interruptions. Just fun activities that the family chooses together: bowling, hiking, cooking, board games, etc. The important thing is that you put it on your calendar and do it regularly.
Is it possible that by modeling the dizzybusy lifestyle and pushing our kids into the same rat race we’re in, we may be causing the very things we try to prevent: alcohol and drug abuse, casual sex, depression and suicide? Is it the violent video games and R-rated movies that tempt our children to go in the wrong direction, or is it the pressure to be what society says they should be that pushes them there?
Are we, as parents, so focused on their success that we are actually making things worse?
Some Shocking Statistics
49% of college students binge drink and/or abuse prescription and illegal drugs
23% meet the medical criteria for substance abuse and dependence
use of cocaine, heroin and other illegal drugs is up 52%
the number of students seen for depression has doubled
The number of suicidal students seeking help has tripled
Since our culture puts so much emphasis on work and accomplishments, we get caught up in pushing our kids to perform. There is a fine line between encouraging and pushing, and it’s not always easy for us to see where that line is because our egos are wrapped up in the middle of it. Society has convinced us that more sports, music lessons and chess clubs are going to prepare our kids for a better life. Some of that is great, but all the extra-curricular activities in the world will not make up for the lost opportunity we have to teach our children valuable life lessons and build strong family ties. Encourage your children to be selective. One or two activities are all a child needs and probably all he/she can handle. Kids need down time, when nothing is planned, when it’s quiet enough for imaginations to kick in and spontaneous connections to occur. And so do we.
We can’t forget that the way we push ourselves to be “successful” is setting a powerful negative example all by itself. So, what can we do to compensate for our dizzybusy lifestyles? How can we find, and model for our children, that balance we all desperately need? How do we stay focused on what’s important?
The most valuable thing we can do right now is take time out from our own busy schedules and make time for family. We need to show our children that it’s ok to stop the hustle and bustle and enjoy life together. Set aside a couple of hours on Friday for Family Fun Night, or Sunday afternoon for Sunday Funday. No phones, no computers, no TV, no interruptions. Just fun activities that the family chooses together: bowling, hiking, cooking, board games, etc. The important thing is that you put it on your calendar and do it regularly.
